Naruto Goes Harry Potter
by AXBHikaruRemastered
Summary: Naruto gets hit on the head! Naruto is about to be thrown in a dumpster by Sasuke and Sakura! He gets to attend Howgwarts! What Else Can Go Wrong! nothing except Naruto getting the teachers ticked and practically destoying the school... please r
1. Chapter 1

**Title: UNKNOWN**

**Name: UNKNOWN**

Creator of Naruto: WASN'T ME 

**And that's my slogan.**

**Chapter 1 The Momodo of The Red Book?**

**This calls for assistants… Awe screw it that's chapter 1's title for now.**

**It was a normal day for Naruto after being called a loser by Sasuke.**

"**Loser" said Sasuke.**

"**Hey where's Sakura?" asked Naruto at the movie theater.**

"**Umm lets just say last night me and her got intimate," said Sasuke doing that thing with his first two fingers.**

"… **Go on…" said Naruto confused.**

"**That's it," said Sasuke.**

"**How do you pass your ninja exams!" said Sasuke.**

"**Instinct" said Naruto.**

"**Lets go the movies about to start" said Naruto.**

**They were about to see the 4th Harry Potter movie… until Sakura came running to the meeting point.**

"**Sasuke you forgot these" said Sakura giving him his… I'm not telling what they are.**

"**Sakura and you brought them and right in front of Naruto" said Sasuke.**

"**Its okay he's a hollow head" she said knocking on Naruto's head.**

**Then Naruto fell to the ground in the same position acting like nothing was happening then.**

**-Shatter-**

**Naruto's body shattered and people gathered around. Tears slowly formed in their eyes then they immediately looked at Sakura mad.**

"**Someone should pick that up" said Naruto behind Sakura eating a churo or however you spell them.**

"**AH!" jumped sakura.**

"**Naruto help me out here" said Sakura.**

"**Uh um…" then he took one of his daggers and stabbed his hand "oops looks like I have to see a doctor" Naruto said stabbing it over and over because of his quick healing.**

"**I know, Sasuke" said Sakura.**

**But Sasuke was faking a heart attack and played dead.**

"**Uh oh" said Sakura then being attacked by the villagers who had pitchforks, guns, and torches.**

**Results were…**

**Angry Mob: 1 death.**

**Sakura: dead.**

**During the movie…**

**It was the scene with Harry Potter trying to get the golden egg from the dragon.**

"**This is so cool!" yelled Naruto.**

**Then the audience told him to Shut Up.**

"**Sorry!"**

"**SHUT UP!"**

**After the movie…**

"**Awe man that movie was awesome, ya know sometimes I wish we were actually wizards and attended Hogwarts school for witchcraft and wizardry" said Naruto.**

**Don't all of us wish that too?**

**Then an owl dropped a giant package hit Naruto on the head and Naruto fell unconscious.**

**Later…**

**Naruto was slowly waking up.**

**He saw Sasuke and Sakura dragging him to a dumpster.**

"**Uh guys where are you taking me?" said Naruto.**

"**Oh we thought you were dead," said Sasuke then whispering under his breath "Dammit".**

"**Oh ya the owl dropped you this letter" said Sakura.**

**Naruto opened it.**

**(Will Wonka jingle when he opens the candy bar and there's the golden ticket)**

**Naruto was so sleepy he read it like this.**

**Naruto,**

**If you don't deliver the goods to Warehouse 13 you and all your friends will get a one-way ticket to hell so bring the goods and you and your friends live and so does your girlfriend.**

**Signed, Boost Mobile.**

**What it actually said was that whole crappy letter letting you attend Hogwarts but there was a bonus it included Sasuke and Sakura.**

"**Quick! To the pope mobile!" said Naruto.**

To Be Continued… 


	2. Short Chapter but FUNNY!

**Title: I Forget?**

**Creator: DREW BERRYMORE! No? Dammit.**

**Chapter title?**

**Ch.2 Give up the toad now?**

**Naruto and friends were in train and were heading to Hogwarts.**

"**So Naruto the letter said we were starting off as what years?" said Sasuke.**

"**He said we were starting off as 3rd years" said Naruto.**

"**Sometimes I wonder what happens when you combine magic and Ninjutsu together" said Sakura looking out the trains window.**

**Sasuke and Naruto looked at each other and both said, " you don't wanna know".**

"**What? Why?" asked Sakura?**

"**Umm…" said Sasuke and Naruto.**

**Flashback…**

"**FIREBALL JUTSU!" said Sasuke the suddenly**

**-Fart noise-**

**Sasuke was instead shooting Fire out his butt!**

**One week later…**

**He was still farting.**

**End flashback…**

"**Oh" said Sakura.**

**At Hogwarts Great Hall…**

"**Now let the feast of a thousand toads begin!" said Dumbldore. I don't know how you spell his name.**

"**YOU GUYS DO TOAD!" yelled Naruto.**

"**What? What's the problem with it?" said Harry Potter.**

"**Let me tell ya bout it, stud"**

"**You'll get chills, all through your body, and you'll lose all control**

**Of your Bladder and your sphincter, that's your butt hole!**

**Cause if you use toad! Then I'm tellin' you**

**You can kiss your life goodbye**

**Ya when you use toad, It'll mess you up!**

**It'll make your momma cry that's no lie you'll choke on your tongue and die**

**Gotta give it up!" sang Naruto dancing all around the great hall.**

"**Give up the toad now" said Harry Potter.**

"**It's No joke, Buddy give it up" sang Naruto**

"**Gotta give up the toad now" sang some Females from Ravenclaw.**

"**And don't smoke or you'll see**

**It hurts to pee**

**They'll be blood, Gushin from ya, every time that ya cough**

**And forget, getting lucky… It falls off**

**Ya, ya better wize up… cause I'm tellin you**

**Toad is one land dope forbids**

**Gotta give it all up!**

**Or you're gonna see! **

**Your whole life will hit the skids and your kids will be born without eyelids**

**Gotta give it up"**

"**Give up the toad now, thanks to you Naruto give it up (give it up)" sang the females.**

"**Give up the toad now" said Sasuke.**

"**Thanks to you Naruto" sang the females.**

"**Give it up!" said Naruto.**

"**Give up the toad now Woo! Woo! Woo!" sang the females.**

"**I'm no fool" sang Naruto.**

"**Shabadobop" sang the females.**

"**Naruto's cool"**

**-Clapping sound-**

"**YA!" said everyone at once.**

"**Wow we've never spontaneously broke out into song before" said Harry.**

"**You guys are the coolest we'll never touch a toad again" said Ron.**

"**Excuse me but do I know you?" said Naruto to Ron.**

**Okay short chapter…**

To Be Continued or will it? 


	3. I Love Pie drools

**Title: I finally got it Naruto goes to hell!**

**Name: what's my name?**

**Creator of Naruto: Jim Kishimoto?**

…

**Ch.3 Peanuts and Crackers?**

"**Okay let today's breakfast begin!" said Dumbldore.**

**But when he clapped instead of food dead bodies appeared instead!**

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" yelled everyone except Naruto.**

"**COOL! Dead body for breakfast haven't tried that yet" said Naruto.**

"**STOP!" yelled Dumbldore.**

**They all froze and a guy was floating in the air frozen solid.**

**Then he clapped and the bodies became food.**

**Everyone was eating and everything went back to normal until Naruto did this.**

**A giant Eagle came inside carrying Naruto like on that episode of Zatch Bell.**

**When Naruto hit the teachers dinning table he was in a bananas suit.**

**Then he sang.**

**It's peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time **

Where he at

**Where he at**

**Where he at**

**Where he at  
**

**There he go **

**There he go**

**There he go**

**There he go  
**

**Peanut butter jelly**

**Peanut butter jelly**

**Peanut butter jelly**

**Peanut butter jelly  
**

**Do the peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat**

**  
Do the peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat**

**  
Now, break it down and freeze**

**Now, break it down and freeze**

**Now, break it down and freeze**

Now, break it down and freeze

Now tic tac toe (uh-huh)

Tic tac toe (let's go)

Tic tac toe (you got it)

Tic tac toe (let's ride)

Now, freestyle, freestyle, freestyle, freestyle, freestyle, your style

**Now, freestyle, freestyle, freestyle, freestyle, freestyle, your style**

Where he at 

**Where he at **

**Where he at **

**Where he at   
**

**There he go **

**There he go**

**There he go**

**There he go.**

**Then everyone was like WTF!**

**Then he got in trouble**

**But what really happened as he got to have a whole week off of school! Because of his amazing voice.**

**The next week…**

"**Man I feel so drunk" said Naruto.**

"**Can you even get drunk" said Sasuke.**

"**I, I, I think you need to get laid big time" said a drunk Naruto like Stewie griffin would say it if drunk.**

"**_(Beep) _You" said Sasuke.**

"**UHUHUHUHUHU!" laughed Naruto then fainting and snoring loudly.**

"**Ya I'm just gonna walk away now" said Sasuke.**

**The next day…**

"**Class I have some news tomorrow Dumbldore declares it song day of the week" said Professor Mc(something can't remember). Hey can you guys tell me how to spell their names I forget.**

**Then Naruto got on top of his table and stood up proudly.**

"**And its all thanks to…**

_**To Be Continued?**_

"**Man I didn't get to finish my sentence" said Naruto.**

"**No! WAIT!-"**

**-dead silence-**


	4. kanfglasfdjahgnvhn’stuff

**Behold I'm Not Starting the chapter off as usual! And behold. I just want you all to know this is the 4th to last fanfiction I will ever make. But if you want me to make a fic for the game Tales Of Symphonia for a giant finale then by the end of the story I will need 100 reviews. Now this is not a request to update but just for me to make one more fic. And if you like humor read these other two humorous fics.**

Retards At Work (Shaman King) 

**_The SUZYNATOR_ (Zatch Bell)**

**Creator of Naruto: … My Cat?**

**Ch.4 I give chapters stupid names.**

"**Sometimes I wish I could kill Dumbldore" said Sakura.**

"**I know he ticks me off!" said Sakura.**

"…"

"…"

"**You thinking what I'm thinking" said Sakura.**

"**Sakura-Chan? Why are you talking to yourself?" said Naruto.**

"**AH!" yelled Sakura fainting.**

"**This is worse than when we got to Hogwarts" said Naruto.**

**Flashback…**

"**Holy cow this school is huge" said Sasuke.**

"**My God this school is freakin' sweet" said Naruto.**

**Then some people popped right in front of Naruto and his friends.**

**Then they went into song**

"**We only live to kiss ass"**

**  
"Kiss it! I'll even wipe it for you"**

**  
"From here on in its Easy Street."**

**  
"Any bars on that street?" asked Naruto.**

**  
"24 happy hours a day"**

**  
"Oh, boy" said Naruto**

**  
"We'll stop jehovas at the gate"**

**  
"Lemme see that pamphlet sir"**

**  
SMACK**

**  
"My god this school is freakin' sweet!" said Naruto**

"I make lunch, Clyde cooks brunch"

**  
"Each and everyday."**

**  
"Chocolate cake ala Blake."**

**  
"100 bucks Blake is gay" said Naruto**

**  
"We'll do your nails and rub your feet."**

**  
"Oh that's not nessa--Oh, my" said Hinata who is also attending.**

**  
"We'll do the best we can with Sakura"**

"**Are you saying im ugly?" said Sakura.**

**  
"It doesn't matter dear you're practically rich now"**

**  
"We'll do your homework every night"**

**  
"It's really hard." said Sasuke**

**  
"That's why we got that Steven Hawking guy."**

**  
"My god this school is freakin' sweet!"**

"I used to pass lots a gas Hinata ran away" sang Naruto.

**  
"Now we've got 30 rooms hello beans good bye spray" sang Naruto**

**  
"We'll take a bullet just for you"**

**  
"Oh. what a coincidence I've got one" said Neji.**

**  
"Neji!" said Hinata **

**  
"Prepare to suck that golden teet"**

**  
"Now that your at this school  
We'll gladly be your bitch."**

**  
"My god this school is freakin' sweet!" sang everyone**

**  
"Welcome!"**

From now on each chapter Naruto will be singing a song from the family guy episodes.

**End flashback…**

"**Ah those were the days" said Naruto**

**Defense against the dark arts class…**

"**Today class we will learn a very hard to learn spell called _kanfglasfdjahgnvhn'stuff"_ Said their teacher.**

**Everyone's faces who were confused.**

"**Let me repeat the spell _kanfglasfdjahgnvhn'stuff f _That should be easy enough to remember right?" said Mad eye moody.**

"**Oh think I know what you mean" said Naruto.**

"**Well try the spell" said Moody.**

"**_kanfglasfdjahgnvhn'stuff_" said Naruto.**

**All of a sudden the school exploded.**

"**Oh I forgot that spell destroys stuff" said Moody.**

"**NARUTO!" said Hinata now mad at Naruto.**

**Then he sang.**

"**I recognize that tone, tonight I sleep alone, But still this school is freakin' sweet!" sang Naruto**

_**kanfglasfdjahgnvhn'stuff?**_

_**\**_

_**translation: To Be Continued? **_


	5. Barely a song in here

* * *

Naruto Goes Harry Potter

* * *

Chapter 5: is here at last.

* * *

"So today we have, Wait, when the fk did art become a class at hogwarts! Hehe Hog... Warts..." said Naruto. 

"Thats just stupid" said Sasuke. 

" I know i can't beleive no one ever new that hogwarts had the word warts in it!" said Naruto. 

"No i mean the art class" 

"Oh, i knew that" said Naruto. 

that day at lunch... 

"Sorry Naruto you have to sit at the Grryfindor table" said Snape. 

"Is that some kind of racist rule" asked Naruto 

"Now Naruto its just that each group wits with eacho-" 

"You know thats bull crap" 

"i'm sorry its just a rule here at ho-" 

Meanwhile with Sasuke... 

"You know Art class isn't so bad since i don't have to go back to that idiot Naruto and Sakura, oh yaa i feel so good" said Sasuke painting. 

"Oh yaa i'm good" said Sasuke and all he did was draw the empire state building. 

back with Naruto... 

"I HAVE A DREAM! That Grryfindor house and Hufflepuff house, and even Ravenclaw and Slytherin house, can sit together at any table together and chat with there friends!" said Naruto standing on the Teacher's table. 

"YAAAAA!" yelled everyone in the crowd. 

"Oh ya... i'm even better than i was in that commercial" 

flashback... 

_my bologna has a first name_

its O S C A R

my bologna has a second name

it M A Y E R

I love to eat it every day and...

if you ask me why, I'll say

'cause Oscar Mayer has a way

with B O L O G N A. 

End Chapter 5 


End file.
